Restoring My Manhood

Manhood restored by God

How God Restored My Manhood by Phil Strong

- Eunuchs Can’t Produce Life!


Do you ever feel battle-weary, tired or just weak? Do you ever feel like you don’t have the strength to go on and push through the challenge? That’s how I felt after a particularly tough season. I was so tired you could have pushed me over with a feather. Perhaps you can relate?


In this space I withdrew from my family, was reserved in making decisions, and often absent from parenting. My poor wife was demoted to cook and cleaner; I guess you could say she was a servant with benefits. Perhaps you can relate?


Let’s be honest, living without the strength or virility that should be present in a man could be likened to the impotent state of a eunuch. Is that too harsh? I’m not sure if it’s rude to suggest that many Christian men live like eunuchs, but let’s go with it. My point here is not to criticise or condemn, but instead to call out a problem and suggest a solution.


In much more savage times, young men were submitted to brutal treatment. For many, the sound of “clack, clack” would have haunted them in their sleep for years. Hopes of a fruitful life crushed, they were consigned to a life of service. Often, these impotent men were assigned to serve the beautiful women in the King’s harem with no risk of impropriety.


When your ability to function as man has been crushed, you lose your virility. Simply put, this means you have lost the God-given ability to create life as the leader of your family. Practically speaking, this looks like men who are disconnected from their loved ones, silent when leadership or authority is required, and possibly completely closed in the love department.


When your family is struggling, the best thing you can give them is a healthy you.


I had a particularly tough season in life that included massive business catastrophe, near financial ruin, and the imminent risk of a broken family. I was shell-shocked as I sat with my head in my hands, uncertain of my future, and feeling a complete failure in every aspect of my life. I had fought and fought trying to win the wrong battles, I had spent my energy on the wrong priorities, and I had invested everything I had in winning the wrong prize. In this state it felt like my manhood was crushed. Depleted, hopeless and lifeless, there was nothing in me that could find a glimmer of hope for a fruitful future.


Sure, there was no “clack, clack” ringing in my ears, (or in my nightmares), but there was a pain deep within me that made me feel like I had lost my manhood. Yes, I felt like an impotent eunuch.


Thankfully, in my darkness I heard the voice of God. At this stage of my faith-walk I had experienced the favour and blessing of God, but I had never really allowed Him to be my healer. What I heard was the soft and merciful voice of a loving Father. He found me in the dark night of my soul and He led me out.


You can read more about the fruit of this season in my book, Building a Strong Family, as God taught Kathy and I many lessons as parents.  This book is full of stories and I’m sure you’ll laugh and cry as you read what we went through.  But the point of today is that there is good news for you and me – God is our Saviour!


As our Heavenly Father, God desires for us to become more mature as we lean into Him more and more.  This is the journey of our life of faith and there are no shortcuts.


In my story, the first stage of this journey was the deep healing that was required to restore my manhood.  This wasn’t physical, but it was a deeply spiritual journey and an incredibly emotional one.  May I also add this; you’re not a man because of your body parts.  You’re a man because God says you are a man.  Our identity as men before God rests fully in His declaration over us.  We cannot let life steal this from us and we must not allow the lies of the devil to convince us of anything contrary to God’s Word.


My healing came from my choosing to spend more time with God through His Word.  I became a disciplined reader of scripture, not for the sake of reading pages or learning new things, but for the pure joy of spending time with the author!  In God’s Word I began to see who He said I was.



The second aspect of this journey included my family.  I distinctly remember the day the Lord told me I had to go, in His words, and “rebuild my family.”  Again, the book will fill in many gaps for you if you’re interested in the layers of the adventure that transpired, but I had to choose to be obedient and I had to get involved.


I see many men in our nation who live in a way that is not bringing life to their family.  While perhaps not impotent, there are many who are not sowing good seed.  You may think you’re not fully broken, but perhaps you’re also not fully healed.


God is first our Saviour and then He invites us into a life of partnership with Him. This means we need to turn up, to be fully committed and leading from the front.  As a husband, dad, uncle, grandfather, teacher or friend, God desires for you to be actively creating life-giving moments in the lives of those around you.


We desperately need this in the churches of our nation so that we can be a life-giving example to those who are looking for hope.


Will you allow God to reach into your inner world to bring the healing you need?  And then, as a better version of you, will you choose to lead your family?  I hope so.


Phil Strong is an author and the Senior Leader at ZION, a church community in Te Awamutu. Connect with Phil at