Who’s On Your Team?

I find it interesting how easily I can let connections and relationships slip away because I am too busy. A couple of things reminded me of this. I remembered celebrating our success as a team at the 2018 Lemons Race at Hampton. We had won the Trophy for the “Most Consistent Team” with both our cars getting to the finish despite some significant challenges. In 2019 the team had a car take 7th place outright from 56 cars, which was a great achievement.


This year I was too busy to take part even although I was recently contacted again by the team leader asking if I want to have a go at the Lemons Race in 2022. These men are persistent!


That is not to say what I was doing was not important because it was significant in other men’s lives. However, was I working wisely in the area of self-care? There are times when we have to do things that keep us emotionally and spiritually healthy through long-term ongoing relationships with other men. It is so easy for me to believe that I am working with men all the time, I’ll be fine. The key to that statement is working with, not just hanging out with other men.


Interestingly my wife is starting to tell me that I need to get back involved with this kind of activity because it is not good for me to work all the time. A friend of mine recently texted me asking, “Do you want to buy a 2K Cup car together and do some more racing?” But my wife has recently bought me a Mustang convertible so may be the answer is to join the Mustang Owners Club!


My private story aside, modern science is finding isolation is a major cause of men’s health issues. In 2017 The Boston Globe ran with this headline. “The biggest threat facing middle-age men isn’t smoking or obesity. It’s loneliness.” The author then commented, “Loneliness has been linked to an increased risk of cardiovascular disease and stroke and the progression of Alzheimer’s. One study found that it can be as much of a long-term risk as smoking.” We as New Zealand men are cluttering up our lives with all sorts of activity to the detriment of male friendships and our health.


Discussion question:

What are the issues you face that you think other guys might also struggle with?



Paul Monahan