4 ways to keep yourself safe when boredom and frustration hits -
I must admit I never expected to be confined to my house as I am in our present situation in New Zealand. I grew up as an only child so I have a predisposition to being self-contained and able to amuse myself. For many however time on their hands is becoming more and more of an issue as this lockdown goes on. The regular patterns of work and commuting have vanished literally overnight, with little to replace them. Pastimes that seemed entertaining for a while do not fill up your day with any sort of meaning or satisfaction in the long-term.
Unfortunately some of us will turn to porn to provide comfort and alleviate boredom. Curiosity can be a great tempter if we are bored and happen to click the wrong thing as we are surfing the net. A simple thought “Oh that looks interesting!” Can see us end up in places we would never intentionally go, but every click can take us closer to a place you don’t know how to get out of! Occasional porn users levels of consumption may increase, however if we are regular users our consumption will increase because of the well-trodden paths in our brain. Regrettably for a large number of church going men pornography is a serious issue. They feel the shame and the guilt of an ongoing obsession with online pornography but are unsure where to go or what to do. So they do nothing and keep going further and further down the hole into the darkness.
To keep yourself as safe as you can in these days of boredom and when frustration levels with relationships in your bubble may be stretched, here are a few safeguards that will help you out.
- Get yourself a “Go To” person that you can go to when you are feeling tempted or frustrated or angry. This person would be: In our case he will be male, someone we trust, if possible someone who knows you well. Crucially they will be outside your bubble. So how does this work? Before you are tempted to make that next click down the porn trail or say something you know you shouldn’t…. pick up your phone, make a call and begin to talk. This is a basic premise that we work with in the PK Set Free from Porn programme. That simple process can break the drive or anger that you are experiencing.
- If you are experiencing strong urges to do something you know you shouldn’t. You can also go for a walk, go and find something else to do, or strangely do nothing. This means just what it says, Do Nothing, it will again break the cycle. This comes from advice given to people trying to give up cigarettes - just wait, if you must do something drink water, this reduces stress in the body by rehydrating.
- If you feel like you are up for a challenge while you are in lockdown take on the Freedom Fight 30 Day Porn Challenge [here]
- You can also contact us at PK Set Free 022 587 7402 and have a chat.
We can win this battle if we keep on keeping on.
Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Hebrews 12:1-2
Let’s keep connecting with each other. The Promise Keepers Group on Facebook [here] is available for you to share your views and connect with other men across the country. This is the place where you can reach out for help; tell us how you are doing; or chat with the guys. If you want or need to chat, email me [here].
In the immortal words of Hill Street Blues “Let’s be careful out there!”
Blessings
Paul Monahan
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