My Search for Truth

To quote Top Gun, I had “lost the edge”.

How are you this morning?

“Good Friday” and “Resurrection Sunday” have come and gone. We have had a few days off, possibly overindulged in food and chocolate. Some of us may have been to a few church services over the weekend and others not so much. All these may be factors affecting how you feel this morning.


I have always found Lent an interesting spiritual time as I prepare for Easter. As we move from Ash Wednesday to Resurrection Sunday, I find myself returning to a practice of reading Max Lucado’s books. This time it was, “No Wonder They Call Him the Saviour” and again God brought me a significant message which may have some bearing for you.


One of the chapters speaks about the fact that of the twelve disciples, who started the journey with Jesus on the day of crucifixion, one was dead, ten had headed for the hills, and one was at Calvary. Now this sounds all a bit dismal, because only one was still fully engaged when it mattered. So, I guess you may be wondering what God has said to me through this process.



Well, since I retired from full-time ministry, I have pulled back a little from the intensity I had in seeking God. I’ve not quite headed for the hills. I may have been at Calvary, but I certainly would not have been at the foot of the cross but viewing from closer to the edge. Therefore, missing the true reality of what was going on.


To quote Top Gun, I had “lost the edge”. It is much easier to stay close to Jesus for others when in some form of ministry… but was I prepared to do the work of staying close to Jesus for myself? It is quite the cultural collision. My “popular culture” tells me that retiring means you take it easy, but Father God is saying, “You are not finished. I still have work for you to do! Come and spend time with me.”


You see it is not how many times I attended church at Easter and yes, I did go. The call I have today is the same as it was when I first came to Christ all those years ago, to know and be known by the Father and all else will flow from that.


Let us now return to the disciples. They started to gather with each other again during crucifixion weekend. Tentatively with trepidation, some with guilt and uncertainty about the future. Even towards the end of Jesus’ final forty days on earth they were still not sure how this worked.


“Meanwhile, the eleven disciples were on their way to Galilee, headed for the mountain Jesus had set for their reunion. The moment they saw him they worshiped him. Some, though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally.” Matthew 28:16-17 (MSG)


“I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20 (MSG)


Their uncertainty was very real, Jesus reassures them of HIS faithfulness and love. Tradition tells us that of the eleven, ten were executed and one died in prison in the Name of Jesus, no matter where they started from. This is for you, as it is for me. Because this is part of the reality of Easter.


Wherever you find yourself today, in the far away Galilean hills or a hill just outside Jerusalem, Jesus is there. All that you and I have to do is to take one step, large or small, closer to Jesus, and then do it again tomorrow. Like the disciples we will be amazed at where we end up.


If you are not sure, read the Prodigal Son in Luke 15. It may help!



Paul Monahan