Where Would We Be Without Them?

By Peter Meyer

Without stating the obvious, we cannot come into existence without our mothers and theirs is the first voice we recognise at birth.

The bond created in the womb is life-giving, no matter what transpires after our birth, it is our first lesson in worldly love. After all her body was transformed forever to bring a new life into this world, and she will always be your birthmother.

I understand that life happens to all of us and everyone’s situation is different, creating differing relationships with our parents. But I refer to the Fifth Commandment: “Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12. Since this command includes a Promise, it is meant for us to pay attention to our relationship with our parents. This is noted again by Paul in Ephesians 6:2-3. Therefore, I want to honour our mothers.

I was blessed to grow up in a loving home environment, but it was not always smooth sailing nor was there an abundance of money.

As the youngest of three siblings, I sometimes felt unnoticed and created mischief for my mother’s attention. I would get her attention on my bottom occasionally with a very thin leather belt. – As soon as I was able to hold back the tears, I would stare at her afterwards and say thank you! Defiant to the core! There I saw the silent hurt and pain in her eyes. Nobody loves like a mother. (“He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” Proverbs 13:24.)

I did, however, learn about a mother’s sacrifice on one occasion after my nagging and nagging for a new bicycle. She helped me start making Macramé pot hangers (she had no idea how to make them) and sold them to earn enough money to purchase my first BMX – which were all the craze in the 80’s.

That lesson that hard work pays off has stuck with me to this day and has been passed onto my children.

I have learned another lesson from my mother, this one much more painful for her to carry physically and emotionally – spousal abuse! She never spoke up about it; she took it to her grave.

John 8 speaks about the woman caught in sin but where is the man? Note she is pardoned by Jesus, but the man evades his accountability!

In my marriage of 16-years I have kept the Promise I made to myself, that I would love and respect my wife. Nor will I let my wife or my children see loving hands become violent hands. As men we can and should break the cycle!

As a new father, with my first born only a few weeks old, I had a revelation of the tremendous role a mother plays in a child’s life. This insight was also into how tough single mothers have it when the father is out of the picture. I’ve huge respect for single parents.

The Bible in Isaiah 1:17 talks about looking after widows, the fatherless, and doing good to others – I think that should include single mothers. (“Learn to do good; Seek justice, Rebuke the oppressor; Defend the fatherless, Plead for the widow.” Isaiah 1:17.)

As the Promise Keepers NZ team, we would like to wish all Mothers, including Spiritual Mothers – women who look after others in their communities, a very blessed and peaceful Mother’s Day. We love you ladies and thank you for being you!

Blessings,
Peter Meyer

Peter Meyer is Promise Keepers NZ Acting National Director

1. The First Lesson: Peter calls the bond in the womb our "first lesson in worldly love." How has your relationship with your mother shaped your view of love today?
2. Sacrifice and Work: Peter’s mother learned a new craft (Macramé) just to help him get a bike. What is one specific sacrifice your mother made for you that you didn't fully appreciate until you were an adult?
3. The Promise: Peter made a promise to himself to never let "loving hands become violent hands." As men, how do we practically "break the cycle" in our own homes or support those who are struggling to do so?
4. The Solo Parent: The piece mentions the "tremendous role" of single mothers. How can our group or church practically "plead for the widow" or support solo parents in our community?
5. Biblical Honour: Read Exodus 20:12. Why do you think God attached a specific promise of "long life" to the commandment of honouring parents?