The Question Every Man Carries – And the Father Who Never Leaves

An interview with Nick Tuitasi who shared this story with Promise Keepers NZ.

Nick Tuitasi, QSM, has stood on a lot of stages. He's led men's groups, spoken to youth, chaired Promise Keepers NZ, and carried the Living Legends Award and Queen's Service Medal for a lifetime of serving others.

But one of the stories that has stayed with him longest isn't from a platform. It's from a moment when a boy stepped up and punched him in the chest.

It happened at a Promise Keepers event. The youth had just finished their session, and the plan was the boys would run into the auditorium to their waiting fathers, share something from what they'd learned, and let faith be passed from one generation to the next. It's usually a beautiful scene.

But that day, some boys had brought friends whose dads weren't there. So a few of the speakers stepped in as stand-ins, for a moment, for fathers who were missing.

Nick was paired with a small boy, maybe eleven years old. When the moment came to speak to “dad,” the boy didn't say anything sweet. He stepped forward, hit Nick in the chest, and said, “Why did you leave me?”

Nick didn't have an answer. He couldn't explain a father's absence he had nothing to do with. All he could do was hug the boy and apologise on his father's behalf. He still doesn't know if that apology was ever truly owed, but it was what that boy needed to hear.

Every man carries something like that boy's question, even if we've buried it well. A father who wasn't there. Words that were never said. A hand that was never placed on our shoulder when we needed it. And if we're honest, some of us have left others asking that same question of us.

Here's the good news buried in that hard story: We have a Heavenly Father who has never once walked out the door.

“I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5) is a promise from the only Father who has kept every promise He's ever made. Where earthly fathers fail, run, or simply weren't equipped, God the Father stands, present tense, right now, for you.

Nick talks about the men's groups that shaped him. Places where guys got honest about the questions that actually matter, prayed for each other, and discovered in that camaraderie the old saying is right: “If you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together.”

So here's the invitation: Don't carry your version of that boy's question alone. Whether your dad was present or absent, whether you've been the father you wanted to be or you're still working that out. There's a room full of men wrestling the same things, and a Father who's never left the room.

Promise Keepers NZ is holding a Men's Event in Auckland on Saturday 15 August.

If you've never been to a PK Men’s Event, come and see for yourself what changed a sceptical, “I've-got-it-all-together” Nick Tuitasi decades ago.

If you're a veteran of these gatherings, bring a mate who needs to hear it. There's still time to close the gap between “why did you leave me” and “I will never leave you.”

We'd love to see you there.

Blessings,

Nick Tuitasi and the Promise Keepers NZ Team