We spend a lot of time on communicating yet we are becoming increasingly isolated. The quantity of communication activity is massive, but the quality of the communication is at times superficial, poor and badly directed. This isolation increasingly applies to men in our 21st century society. That feeling of being cut off, sidelined and alone is very real to many men today.
In the context we live in, potentially we can connect with more people than has ever been possible with any other generation. We have powerful tools that enable us to communicate across the world in “real time”. This can allow us to be in genuine, meaningful relationships at a distance as we embrace the global village concept.
At the other end of the scale is the virtual world of social media, where we can portray ourselves as anything we like. We can develop a whole new persona with all the good and none of the not so good shown. We can even become a whole new, very desirable person. This virtual world allows us to interact, but does it really help us to truly get to know other people?
We are functioning in a very instant age which to a certain extent means that we don’t want to wait for things the way we used to. A good example is TV on demand: you can watch it anywhere on a phone, a tablet or computer and sometimes even a TV. This has meant we are becoming increasingly distractible and lacking in focus, looking for the next thing to entertain us.
Shallowness is becoming the new norm in both the Christian and non-Christian worlds. Richard Foster puts it this way, “Superficiality is the curse of our age. The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem. The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people or gifted people, but for deep people.”
So how in the Christian world do we develop “deep people”? I believe one answer is in developing deep friendships, especially for men. Christian men sometimes experience negative pushback about their faith. It is time to stop, turn and take a stand.
One of the ways we can do this is in Men’s Groups. In Men’s Groups we can develop deep and solid friendships over time. These help us to overcome our fear of failure and fear of man as we truly share who we are, and through our friends we can be encouraged to see who we can be in Jesus. We may have lost our job; our family or finances may be a mess.
Whatever our present looks like, our comrades in arms can help and support us through. They can say “I’ve been there! You will survive and you will make it out the other side. It just hurts right now!” You don’t find that on Facebook or Instagram or TikTok. Pain is not cured by a one-liner because, as the adage says, “people don’t care what you know until they know that you care”!
This is the heartbeat of Promise Keepers - fulfilling the need for strong and vital friendships with other Christian brothers. This is where we started, back in 1994. The need hasn’t changed, it’s just that the present social context may be a little different and, in some ways, a little more difficult. The answer can still be found in Men’s Groups. We may have to push a little harder and use technology like video calling to our advantage.
We were designed to be in community. Jesus operated that way and if it was good enough for Him, it is probably okay for us too!
Blessings,
Paul Monahan