The Power of a Man’s Tongue: Becoming an Agent of Life and Healing

By Wes Chambers - The Profound Power of Our Words: 

More and more we are realising that the old saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” simply isn’t true. It may have been a cute little rhyme to minimise the effects of things other kids said to us in the playground, but in reality the power of our words is profound.

My wife and I came to realise early in our marriage that the world of our marriage would be shaped and formed by the way we spoke, and the content and spirit of our speaking to each other.

I have been married to my beautiful wife and best friend Janet for 45 years. We are senior leaders of Living Waters Christian Centre and have been leading our church for more than 34 years. We are enjoying the Lord, marriage and ministry together more than ever. What I am about to share is track-tested and learned through many ups and downs in marriage and ministry life.

Unpacking the Lies We Carry

We are all impacted by the messages of this world and its values; add to that the experiences of life in our formative years, and the conclusions and judgments we carry in our hearts. We all tend to bring a concoction of whole and unwhole heart issues into marriage.

I learned pretty quickly that my beautiful young bride didn’t see herself the way I saw her. The messages about her value, looks, intelligence and hope for future relationship security had all been powerfully and negatively shaped by messages her soul had received while growing up; messages her mind had unwittingly entered into agreement with.

Becoming an Agent of Life and Healing

As husbands we have this amazing and powerful potential, to either add to the negativity and reinforce the damaging limitations that result from it, or be an agent of life and healing to our mate’s soul. We therefore are a key agent of God’s transforming love into our bride’s heart and mind.

Generally our voice is the most powerful voice in our wife’s life (humanly speaking) and the impact of our communication is profound. If there is ever a place where the words of Proverbs 18:21 are worked out, it is in our marriages, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit”.

Washing Others in Truth

As Jesus is the head of the Church, His bride, how does He exercise His headship? The closer I follow His example, the more my wife will prosper, and therefore the more our marriage will prosper. We see from the scriptures that He is the greatest example in everything.

Let’s look at how He speaks to us, His bride: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” Ephesians 5:25 (NKJV)

When it comes to the communication that flows from our mouth, what is our wife showering in? Jesus’ words cleanse us by washing us of the defilement of this world’s lies and polluting messages. “You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you”. John 15:3

That is what we are to do for our bride, wash with our loving, uplifting, affirming, comforting and at times correcting words.

“…For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgement. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:34-37

The Fruit of Transformed Speech

When Janet and I married 45 years ago, she was very shy, could never speak to a crowd, and had many strong fears about life and the future. Through what Jesus has done in her life, and the operation of these truths, she is such a different woman. Janet has become a strong prophetic voice, a dynamic leader and prophetic minister, and leads our church alongside me. I am very proud of her, and very thankful that I get to walk with her in life.

The 7-Day Word Audit

Action point: For the next week, take note of the content and tone of your communication with your wife and others in your life. How does it measure up? Would it cleanse or pollute, uplift or oppress, heal or wound, empower or diminish her God-given potential? Make the changes; the Holy Spirit would love to help.

God bless you
Wes Chambers